12 February 2015

Control

One of the most important lessons I've learned through Al-Anon is that the only person I can control is me. While I could control my children (to a certain extent) when they were babies, they certainly had those outbursts and temper tantrums where they were out of control. It's normal. 

Al-Anon taught me to "Let Go and Let God." Under those terms, I began to accept that I am powerless to control anything except what I do and say. In Al-Anon, God is defined as a "higher power." This could be in the form of a religious or spiritual figure or in some cases I heard people referring to their "higher power" as the Al-Anon group itself. I don't really need to go into a lot of detail here. I believe in God and I believe he is in control. So when I am frustrated that the car in front of me isn't moving fast enough (usually when I'm running late to work) or I get angry that adults in my life act like children, I really try to focus on the fact that God is in control, not me. It's His time, not mine. 

When I was able to move from saying those words to believing those words, everything changed. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still get anxious when people don't move fast enough on my way to work. But I (usually) don't feel the need to flash my lights or bang on the steering wheel. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I can't control how fast someone else is driving. Only that person can...

Control
verb (used with object)controlled, controlling.
1.
to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.
2.
to hold in check; curb:
to control a horse; to control one's emotions.
3.
to test or verify (a scientific experiment) by a parallel experiment orother standard of comparison.
4.
to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of:
to control a forest fire.
5.
Obsolete. to check or regulate (transactions), originally by means of aduplicate register.
noun
6.
the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command:
Who's in control here?
7.
the situation of being under the regulation, domination, or commandof another:
The car is out of control.
8.
check or restraint:
Her anger is under control.
9.
a legal or official means of regulation or restraint:
to institute wage and price controls.
10.
Statistics. control variable (def 1).
11.
a person who acts as a check; controller.
12.
a device for regulating and guiding a machine, as a motor or airplane.


Spread Your Wings!

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