I've mentioned a few of Al-Anon's slogans and I'd like to offer another one today. Life is about "Progress, Not Perfection." It's easy to get down on yourself if you slip back into old habits. But you need to just keep moving forward. It's the process of working on yourself that matters not the fact that you are/aren't perfect. None of us is perfect. So it's not fair to judge yourself (or others) by some artificially high standard. Rather, keep working to make yourself a better person and don't worry whether you achieve all of your goals. You likely will never be perfect by any standard. The important part is the journey.
I often slip back into states of anger and frustration over actions of uncaring people. I have to constantly remind myself that (1) I can't control them, (2) I didn't cause them to act selfishly, and (3) I'm not going to cure/teach/guilt them into making good decisions. It's up to the individual to do the right thing and no amount of me wanting them to change will actually change them. This is the basis of the "3 C's" I wrote about in an earlier post.
In addition to not being upset by bad behavior, a therapist once told me that I shouldn't be surprised when people act the way they've been acting. So if someone has been acting selfishly or arrogantly or erratically, then why does it seem to always surprise me when they do it again?! Shouldn't surprise me at all. What should surprise me (and in a pleasant way) is when they do the right thing and make the right choices.
Food for thought and that's a lot to chew on. :)
Spread Your Wings!
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