Selfishness—Narcissicism

Today I read that Billy Joel is going to have a baby with his girlfriend. Seriously. Billy Joel is 65. How sad for this unborn child that his or her father will likely never live to see his child graduate from college, have a successful, happy life, or see his grandchildren. I suppose he could have a Doogie Howser genius kid or raise an irresponsible child who has his own kids when he's a teen. So I guess it's possible BJ could live to the ripe old age of being a grandparent, but after the abuse his body has taken with the drugs and alcohol, it's highly unlikely.

Being a selfish and narcissistic comes naturally to drug and alcohol abusers. Their whole world starts to close in and they can only see themselves. Everyone misjudges their drinking, everyone else is to blame for the missed deadlines, bounced checks, skipped events at school. Somehow the whole world is wronging them.

Children learn by watching the adults in their lives. Some adults are responsible and nurturing, while others only care about themselves. The narcissistic alcoholic usually doesn't make it through a long-term relationship with his or her child, because eventually the child grows up and becomes more mature than that particular parent. Unless, of course, the child grows up and mimics the parent's bad behavior. BJ isn't the only parent who will not actually raise his child. Plenty of parents out there have children and have no responsibility whatsoever in actually raising them.

Many alcoholics attempt to raise their children, but fail miserably, isolating themselves from their family, missing out on events and activities associated with childhood. Many children of alcoholics grow bitter and unforgiving without the help of a group like Alateen or Al-Anon. 

Often the alcoholic looses all her/his friends in this drunken stupor isolation, deliberately or not. Oh sure, they eventually make new friends and it usually takes a while until those new friends figure it out. But eventually those friends loose interest, too. In the best of times, the narcissistic alcoholic realizes that she/he has a problems and seeks help. No one can make them recognize their issues. They have to do it on their own. Then and only then (and usually, but not always, with the help of a 12-step program) can the alcoholic make a try change and start thinking about someone other than him/herself. 

Billy Joel apparently has the maturity level of a flea and is surrounded by a bunch of stupid yes men and women who tell him everything he does is great. At least his wife might be able to make a good commercial for Viagra. Think about someone other than yourself. Why bring kids into this world if you're not going to be responsible for them? And by the way, money does not equal responsibility.

Spread your wings!