Control

One of the most important lessons I've learned through Al-Anon is that the only person I can control is me. While I could control my children (to a certain extent) when they were babies, they certainly had those outbursts and temper tantrums where they were out of control. It's normal. 

Al-Anon taught me to "Let Go and Let God." Under those terms, I began to accept that I am powerless to control anything except what I do and say. In Al-Anon, God is defined as a "higher power." This could be in the form of a religious or spiritual figure or in some cases I heard people referring to their "higher power" as the Al-Anon group itself. I don't really need to go into a lot of detail here. I believe in God and I believe he is in control. So when I am frustrated that the car in front of me isn't moving fast enough (usually when I'm running late to work) or I get angry that adults in my life act like children, I really try to focus on the fact that God is in control, not me. It's His time, not mine. 

When I was able to move from saying those words to believing those words, everything changed. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still get anxious when people don't move fast enough on my way to work. But I (usually) don't feel the need to flash my lights or bang on the steering wheel. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I can't control how fast someone else is driving. Only that person can...

Control

verb (used with object), controlled, controlling.

1.

to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.

2.

to hold in check; curb:

to control a horse; to control one's emotions.

3.

to test or verify (a scientific experiment) by a parallel experiment orother standard of comparison.

4.

to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of:

to control a forest fire.

5.

Obsolete. to check or regulate (transactions), originally by means of aduplicate register.

noun

6.

the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command:

Who's in control here?

7.

the situation of being under the regulation, domination, or commandof another:

The car is out of control.

8.

check or restraint:

Her anger is under control.

9.

a legal or official means of regulation or restraint:

to institute wage and price controls.

10.

Statistics. control variable (def 1).

11.

a person who acts as a check; controller.

12.

a device for regulating and guiding a machine, as a motor or airplane.

Spread Your Wings!