Happy Valentine's Day!

So I made it through the wedding today. It was nice, but one word of warning: if you attend a wedding or even better yet, if you are *in* a wedding...please avoid chewing gum. I don't think I need to say anything else on this. But when everyone in the first two rows at the church is chewing on gum at a beautiful wedding, it kind of makes me laugh inside...

Looking forward to a great evening with my kids, my friends, and my friends' kids. :) More than anything, though, I look forward to Valentine's Day next year! By then, so many unfinished "things" will be finished. This year is going to be a great one, despite the small obstacles.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Spread Your Wings!

Irony on Friday the 13th

Today is Friday, February 13th...the day before Valentine's Day. So I did not miss the irony in the fact that I received a call a couple of weeks ago to play a wedding gig tomorrow. No, God has a funny sense of humor and today the joke is on me.  Going through a messy divorce is not the time to be playing a wedding. However, a little old lady friend of mine asked me to play for her grandson's wedding, so I couldn't turn her down. 

When the mother of the bride called, she gave me all the details and then said, "The wedding is on Valentine's Day. I hope you don't have plans." To which I replied, "I'm going through a very frustrating divorce right now. I haven't had Valentine's Day plans in 3 years!" So the gig is on.

Tonight I will be sitting through the wedding rehearsal...trying not to make snide comments...

Now Spread Your Wings and eat chocolate!

Control

One of the most important lessons I've learned through Al-Anon is that the only person I can control is me. While I could control my children (to a certain extent) when they were babies, they certainly had those outbursts and temper tantrums where they were out of control. It's normal. 

Al-Anon taught me to "Let Go and Let God." Under those terms, I began to accept that I am powerless to control anything except what I do and say. In Al-Anon, God is defined as a "higher power." This could be in the form of a religious or spiritual figure or in some cases I heard people referring to their "higher power" as the Al-Anon group itself. I don't really need to go into a lot of detail here. I believe in God and I believe he is in control. So when I am frustrated that the car in front of me isn't moving fast enough (usually when I'm running late to work) or I get angry that adults in my life act like children, I really try to focus on the fact that God is in control, not me. It's His time, not mine. 

When I was able to move from saying those words to believing those words, everything changed. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still get anxious when people don't move fast enough on my way to work. But I (usually) don't feel the need to flash my lights or bang on the steering wheel. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I can't control how fast someone else is driving. Only that person can...

Control

verb (used with object), controlled, controlling.

1.

to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.

2.

to hold in check; curb:

to control a horse; to control one's emotions.

3.

to test or verify (a scientific experiment) by a parallel experiment orother standard of comparison.

4.

to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of:

to control a forest fire.

5.

Obsolete. to check or regulate (transactions), originally by means of aduplicate register.

noun

6.

the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command:

Who's in control here?

7.

the situation of being under the regulation, domination, or commandof another:

The car is out of control.

8.

check or restraint:

Her anger is under control.

9.

a legal or official means of regulation or restraint:

to institute wage and price controls.

10.

Statistics. control variable (def 1).

11.

a person who acts as a check; controller.

12.

a device for regulating and guiding a machine, as a motor or airplane.

Spread Your Wings!

Al-Anon

The first time I attended an Al-Anon meeting, I was completely nervous. I was determined to go for my kids, who would be attending the Alateen meeting in the next room. My pastor's wife went with us. She had grown up with issues her family, too, but had never attended a meeting either. We sat there and listened to the stories for about an hour. It wound up being one of the most reassuring things in my life. I heard stories similar to mine—people in all phases of the process and people from all walks of life.

If you've never attended a meeting, but are interested here is a link where you can find a place: http://al-anon.org/. You don't have to say anything. You can sit there and listen. And you'll have others sitting side by side with you doing the exact same thing.

Yes, I attended my first meeting for my kids, but wound up spending two years attending nearly every week because I also needed to be there.

Spread Your Wings!

Words to Live by...2

Spread Your Wings! (and handle the stress like I do!)

Words to Live by...

Absolutely!

Birthday Festivities...Not!

Today is my 49th birthday and I'm totally sick. Thought I'd head to school and enjoy the day telling jokes with the kids and I wound up flat on my back with a cold. All in all, this will still be a great day because I am blessed with two wonderful kids and many, many great friends.

That's all for now, but there's lots to catch up on!

Spread Your Wings!