Vacation

No, this is not about the so-called "reboot" of the classic Chevy Chase/Beverly D'Angelo road trip movie. The kids and I took a vacation this month—a huge road trip to visit family and friends far and near. Our destinations included Pittsburgh, Stoney Creek, Ontario and the Niagara Falls area, Cincinnati, Murray (KY), Mammoth Cave National Park, and Memphis.

Enjoying her Canadian umbrella hat

Having a cold root beer at Lost Pizza in Memphis

We crossed Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Alabama.

And we celebrated Christmas in July in Canada, hiked the largest cave system in the world, crossed over one of the largest river systems in the US, passed through at least five capitol cities, rode the tallest freestanding elevator in the world to the very top, slept in tents and cooked over an open fire in Mammoth Cave National Park, and drove right through mountains in the Blue Ridge Parkway. We ate at LaRosa's and Skyline in Cincinnati, hit a farmer's market in Murray, KY, had pastries from a French bakery in Pittsburgh, and saw (and played on) a video game exhibit at the Brooks Museum in Memphis. All in all we had an amazing trip together!

Looking over the Mississippi River atop the Pyramid

Hanging with Cousin Drake in Memphis

When you ask my children what was their favorite part, they name just about everything we did. But to me, the most important part was reconnecting with friends we hadn't seen in years. Nicole, John, Hazel, Harlow, Donna, Cheryl, Mike, Hannah, Hugh, Scott, Katie, and Drake—these are the folks we saw on our trip. While the stories are too many to keep your interest here, we all shared stories and reconnected, promised to stay in touch, and are already making plans for future visits.

Visiting family and former teachers in Cincinnati

Recently I had a friend contact me asking if it was OK if he unfriended me in Facebook—my nearly ex-husband had apparently asked him not to be friends with me on Facebook. This a ridiculously childish request. I'm not in high school folks and I could not care less if I'm friends with someone on Facebook. I actually go through and purge people regularly (unfortunately that usually happens when their birthday pops up and I realize I don't actually know who that person). When a 40-year-old human being asks another to unfriend someone who has apparently offended him, I just shake my head in wonder. Facebook doesn't make you friends—life makes you friends. Racking up thousands of names of people you've met, doesn't mean you have friends. And that's what our family vacation was all about this year!

Livya's charcoal artwork at our campsite

Spread Your Wings!

Working Mothers

Love this new article:

"According to a working paper (pdf) published June 19 by the Harvard Business School, daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, hold supervisory positions, and earn more money than the daughters of women who don’t work outside the home. The researchers also found a statistically significant effect on the sons of working women, who are likely to spend more time caring for family members and doing household chores than are the sons of stay-at-home mothers."

Check out the rest of the online article at http://qz.com/434056/working-moms-have-more-successful-daughters-and-more-caring-sons-harvard-business-school-study-says/?utm_source=parFSN

Spread Your Wings!

Just Breathe

A friend of mine gave me a bracelet last year that came with a note to "Just Breathe." I wear it everyday and will continue to do so until it falls off my wrist. It's a constant reminder that I'm taking life one day at a time and remembering to breathe. Have an awesome week!

Spread your wings!

The Alcoholism Test

While some of these links are designed to get you to purchase materials, they provide good insight into what it's like to live with an alcoholic. Some of these were designed for the alcoholic to take and others are for the spouse, child, friend, or parent.

You don't have to answer "yes" to more than a few questions to realize there are others out there, too. Al-Anon is free and helped me immensely. I still have many fall-back days where I just want to yell and scream about the nonsense, but I don't.

http://www.bettyfordcenter.org/recovery/addiction/johns-hopkins-test-for-alcholism.php

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/addiction-self-test.htm

http://www.neillneill.com/alcoholism-test


Many functioning alcoholics are able to hold a job. They plan their binges around a schedule. Until you live with a person, you don't realize their hiding their drinking. But until someone WANTS help, you cannot save them. I tried for years with my alcoholic, but it never worked. Instead, I found Al-Anon and therapy, but of which helped me to heal. It's all still a process, one day at a time.

Spread Your Wings!

Realizing you need help

Had a perfect start to what promises to be an awesome summer. The kids and I are excited to be out for the summer. We have a lot of projects going on and we finally have time to work on them. My son's been working out nearly everyday at the Air Reserve Base with a friend of ours. My daughter is busy at summer camp with me these first two weeks. Then we're free and clear!

My parents are doing OK. My mother still wants to move back to Ohio every other day. But they will be staying put. My father is in the process of petitioning to keep his driver's license. When he had the episode in March, the State of Florida kind of took the reigns and is requiring additional paperwork be filed if he is still driving. My parents completed the paperwork and mailed it in, but there is still a good chance he will loose the ability to drive.

At some point, everyone will need a little help and a lot of people are afraid to accept it. My mother, in particular, does not believe she has limitations. And while you're young and healthy, you may seem invincible, once you're in your 70s and 80s, most people need a little extra help now and then. I have been trying for months to get a service to visit my parents everyday just to check in on them, run errands, and be a companion as needed. If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you'll know that my mother fired the service the very first day they sent someone. Now that my dad faces loosing his license, I am hopeful that we can pick up where we started and have someone come into the house to help them out a bit. I don't think this will become a reality until they are faced with the prospect of not having a car or license. Then and only then will the possibility become a reality that they need to learn to accept help. Crossing my fingers that this summer will stay focused on the positive and not turn ugly during this whole process.

Spread your wings!

The Truth is Out There...Maybe

Had an issue this week with multiple family members lying to my son. He's very angry and rightfully so. If a 13-year-old child can figure it out, you would think an adult would be able to. Don't lie. It's not nice and everyone can see right through it. We teach children these golden rules starting in preschool. Why is it so hard for some people to tell the truth when they grow up? I guess that's the point—growing older doesn't mean someone grows up.

And finally...

Spread your wings!

Txt, FB, Tweets and other forms of communication

Real life doesn't take place in the digital world. Communication takes face-to-face meeting. Texting, Tweeting, Facebook, and other forms of social media and digital communication don't replace actually sitting in front of a person and talking. Eye contact, facial cues, and tone of voice mean everything in a conversation. Unless, of course, it's easier for someone to have a one-sided "conversation" in which it doesn't really matter what the person on the other end has to say. 

And really, collecting phony friends on Facebook or followers on Twitter doesn't mean you are popular. It just means you collect people you know nothing about in an effort to make yourself feel better.

Real life doesn't take place on Facebook. Real people talk to people and meaningful relationships are developed. Electronic media is for playing games.

Spread your wings!